Enthusiastic Ideas

“I am tired of hearing about men with the ‘courage of their convictions.’ Nero and Caligula and Attila and Hitler had the courage of their convictions . . . But not one of them had the courage to examine their convictions or to change them, which is the true test of character” (Sydney J. Harris).

TODAY, AS WE CELEBRATE ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S BIRTHDAY, LET’S MEDITATE ON THE VALUE OF COURAGE. There can be little question that Lincoln’s place in history was secured by the courageous coupling of his character and his well-informed conscience.

Courage is a quality of such basic importance that, from very ancient times, it has been counted as one of the four “cardinal” virtues: JUSTICE, WISDOM, COURAGE, and MODERATION. The word “cardinal” comes from the Latin cardo (“hinge” or “axis”), and these virtues are cardinal in that all the other virtues hinge on them. They’re the necessary foundation on which all the other virtues must be built, and there is even a sense in which courage is the prerequisite for the other cardinal virtues. There are great difficulties in the practice of any good human trait, and it is courage that enables one to overcome these difficulties. Without courage, nothing else can be accomplished. As James Matthew Barrie put it, “Courage is the thing. All goes if courage goes.”

And yet it should be equally obvious that courage must be balanced by other virtues or it becomes an evil thing. As Sydney Harris pointed out, many of the most sinister figures in the world’s history have been persons of courage, but their courage was not informed by justice and equity. It is no great thing to act courageously if our actions are not governed by a conscience grounded in valid principles.

And so, as Harris suggests, what we need are folks with “the courage to examine their convictions,” and also the courage “to change them, which is the true test of character.” Abraham Lincoln was old-fashioned enough to believe that there are objective standards of right and wrong, and for all his courage, he also had humility. On more than one occasion, he took a position that varied from his previous policies, based on his growing understanding of the requirements of rightness for himself and for his nation. We’re indebted to his example, and we need to be more Lincolnesque in the living of our lives.

“Without justice, courage is weak” (Benjamin Franklin).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com

“Pray God we may have the courage and the wisdom and the vision to raise a definite standard that will appeal to the best that is in man, and then strive mightily toward that goal” (Harold E. Stassen).

LITERALLY, THE WORD “STANDARD” MEANS “RALLYING PLACE.” On the battlefield, a standard is a flag or banner which rallies the troops to their cause. In ancient times, to be the standard-bearer was an important responsibility: the flag could not be allowed to fall.

Then the word came to be used figuratively to mean an acknowledged measure of comparison, a criterion. Today, we often think of a standard as an expected level of conduct or performance. We speak of moral standards, ethical standards, business standards, and so forth.

A NATION NEEDS A WORTHY SET OF STANDARDS, AND SO DO INDIVIDUAL PEOPLE. If we have no rallying point in our lives and if there’s no minimum level of honor to which we hold ourselves, then we’re simply adrift, and nothing very good will come from our activity. Living with no standards produces more mediocrity, than it does excellence.

WE OUGHT TO BE CAREFUL IN SELECTING OUR STANDARDS. In the marketplace of ideas, there are all sorts of standards to choose from, many with a flashy appearance but little long-term value. It pays to be careful.

THERE OUGHT TO BE SOME STANDARDS WHICH WE REFUSE TO COMPROMISE. There comes a time in life when we’re tempted to barter with the devil, so to speak. But there ought to be some things that are simply not negotiable. We may back up and back up and back up, but eventually honor must assert itself and say, “No further!”

We need to be improving our standards constantly. Some of the best work we ever do is that of upgrading our standards. None of us has a perfect set of standards yet, and so we need to be working continually on their quality, aligning them with principles of time-tested value.

In many homes there are two sets of dishes: one for everyday use and another for special occasions. Most of us also have more than one set of standards, and while meeting our highest standards may not be possible every instant, those standards can certainly be met more than once or twice a year. We should use our “good dishes” more often!

“You must regulate your life by the standards you admire when you are at your best” (John M. Thomas).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com

“To say yes, you have to sweat and roll up your sleeves and plunge both hands into life up to the elbows. It is easy to say no, even if saying no means death” (Jean Anouilh).

LIFE CALLS US TO MAKE A DECISION: WILL WE PARTICIPATE IN IT OR MERELY OBSERVE? Will we take part in the great drama or be content to sit among the spectators? Quite a lot depends on our decision. If we choose to be ACTIVE in the living of life, good things are more than likely to happen. If, on the other hand, we decide to remain PASSIVE and uninvolved, it’s less likely that we’ll enjoy life’s goodness.

Whether we’ve studied philosophy or not, most of us understand the difference between “subjective” and “objective.” Subjective things have to do with ourselves and the life that’s “inside” us, while objective things are those that have their existence “outside” of us. Regarding the objective world, Paul Goodman has said this, “It is by losing himself in the objective, in inquiry, creation, and craft, that a man becomes something.” Outside of our own minds and experience there lies a marvelous world to engage, to inquire after, and to be involved with. And we aren’t really living a HUMAN life if we’re not participating.

Going back to the analogy of life as a drama or play, isn’t it true that each of us has some part, some “role” to play in the story? Surely we do, and the world loses some degree of goodness every time we back away from playing the part that we’re uniquely equipped to play.

Does participating require more EFFORT than being an observer? Yes, it does. Does it involve more RISK? Without a doubt. That’s why, as Jean Anouilh said, “It’s easy to say no, even if no means death.” But who wants death? It’s worth whatever it takes to overcome our inertia, break the bonds of gravity, and say yes to the adventure of . . . life!

The word “life” can be used in many different ways, and there is a sense in which the laziest, most passive person in the world is still “living.” But in a greater sense, that person is not really living; he or she is doing no more than “being lived.” And in the end, that kind of “life” has in it more to regret than to rejoice about.

“The notion of looking on at life has always been hateful to me. What am I if I am not a participant? In order to be, I must participate” (Antoine de Saint-Exupery).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com

“Be cautious. Opportunity does the knocking for temptation too” (Al Batt).

WHEN WE’RE CONFRONTED WITH DIFFICULT OR DANGEROUS CIRCUMSTANCES, WE NEED TO BE CAUTIOUS. There are forces at work in the world that will destroy us and our loved ones if we don’t watch out. In the living of a human life, it pays to be careful.

It is possible, obviously, to be overly cautious, and if that’s your problem, today’s reading may not be very helpful to you. But from my observation, those with that problem are in the minority. The swindlers of the world haven’t reported any downturn in their business lately; you don’t hear them complaining that people in general have become too cautious. No, I think P. T. Barnum (“There’s a sucker born every minute”) would be tickled to death if he were alive today.

WE NEED TO EXERCISE CAUTION IN OUR BELIEFS. When we’re forming our basic beliefs, convictions, and even our opinions, we need to double-check for accuracy. “Opinions should be formed with great caution — and changed with greater” (Josh Billings). It’s easier to verify the truthfulness of our ideas and principles than it is to rebuild what we’ve destroyed by acting on false information that we carelessly accepted.

WE NEED TO EXERCISE CAUTION IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS. Of all the damage that carelessness can do, none is more heartbreaking than the damage we do to other people. To a greater or lesser extent, everything we do impinges on someone else, and it’s not sufficient, when we’ve hurt someone, to brush the incident aside with a simple, “I just wasn’t thinking.” That’s the whole point, isn’t it? We SHOULD have been thinking. We owe it to those around us to use CAUTION in our conduct.

When we’ve been careless, we can’t expect the laws of the universe to rescue us. Those laws operate with a terrible predictability: the crop that we reap will always be the same one we sowed. If we sow incautiously, it’s foolish (and also a bit arrogant) to expect the “law of the farm” to be set aside just for us, as if we could make poor choices and still get the results that would have come from better ones. And in the real world, poor choices can be disastrous, not only for us but also for those who’re affected by our actions. It pays to be careful.

“The sower may mistake and sow his peas crookedly: the peas make no mistake, but come up and show his line” (Ralph Waldo Emerson).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com

“Calm’s not life’s crown, though calm is well” (Matthew Arnold).

IF OUR INWARD CHARACTER IS ONE THAT CAN BE CALLED “TRANQUIL,” THEN WE HAVE SOMETHING TO ENJOY. Our individual characters are the result of our choices, of course, and we may not have made choices that have led us in the direction of tranquility. If we haven’t, perhaps we ought to consider doing so. A calm, peaceful state of mind is not the highest goal that should claim our attention, but rightly considered, it’s an honorable thing, worthy of our pursuit.

We say that it’s not the highest goal in life simply because there are many things that would be worth sacrificing our tranquility for. For example, suppose a house is burning down and there are young children inside who need to be rescued. No one in his right mind would say, “Well, I’d like to get involved, but I prefer not to disturb my peace of mind.” No, we would gladly sacrifice the feeling of tranquility in that moment in order to achieve a higher goal. So peace of mind is like any other kind of peace: WHAT WE WANT IS PEACE, BUT NOT PEACE AT ANY PRICE. Feelings are fine, but life involves a number of considerations more important than how we feel at the present moment.

Come to think of it, one of the things that’s more important than the enjoyment of tranquility ourselves is being an agent who influences OTHERS to enjoy that quality. We live in times that are “agitated,” and most of those whom we meet need a greater measure of calmness in their lives. The best reason for pursuing tranquility ourselves is so that we can have a peaceful influence on those we love.

There is no possibility of being tranquil, however, if we look for it in the wrong places. It doesn’t come from diets, exercises, self-help seminars, faddish lifestyles, or hip philosophies; it comes from having CHARACTERS THAT ARE ALIGNED WITH TRUE-NORTH PRINCIPLES. As La Rochefoucauld said, “When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.” In a world of disturbing ups and downs, tranquility must come from truths that don’t change.

“To live in the presence of great truths and eternal laws, to be led by permanent ideals — that is what keeps a man patient when the world ignores him, and calm and unspoiled when the world praises him” (Honore de Balzac).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com

“God has given us the Morning Star already: you can go and enjoy the gift on many fine mornings if you get up early enough. What more, you may ask, do we want? Ah, but we want so much more — something the books on aesthetics take little notice of. But the poets and the mythologies know all about it” (C. S. Lewis).

SOMEWHERE WITHIN EACH OF US, THERE IS A DESIRE FOR BEAUTY. In fact, this is one of our deepest desires, whether we recognize it as such or not. And it’s not just that we want to SEE or HEAR or TOUCH particular things that are beautiful within our world: “We want something else which can hardly be put into words — we want to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it” (C. S. Lewis).

Isn’t this why we’re drawn so powerfully toward PERSONAL beauty? However much we may be moved by the beauty of things like sunrises and songs and stories, the beauty of certain PERSONS acts on us even more magnetically. And it’s not just their physical beauty that pulls us toward them; it’s almost always a combination of inward and outward traits that blend together and make us want to know them — and to be known by them — at the deepest possible level. The “beauty” of these individuals is merely a marker, a pointer. It points us toward something that we have a built-in need for. We may not be able to define it or describe it, but we know for a fact that we’ve met people who stir within us a desperate longing for something we’ve never experienced in its fullness or perfection. Let’s call this thing Beauty.

But as we all know, beauty is not the only thing in the world; there is also much ugliness. And so we have a choice to make: will we give in to the ugliness that taints our lives or will we resist it? I’d like to encourage you to resist it. When faced with a choice, CHOOSE BEAUTY. Learn to appreciate it, and educate your taste for it. Make it one of your core values, and exhibit it in your character. Love it, and share its sharp, piercing wonder with others who love it as you do.

Spend all you have for loveliness,
Buy it and never count the cost;
For one white singing hour of peace
Count many a year of strife well lost,
And for a breath of ecstasy
Give all you have been, or could be.
(Sara Teasdale)

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com

“True happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise; it arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one’s self; and, in the next, from the friendship of a few select companions” (Joseph Addison).

OUR HAPPINESS NEEDS A LITTLE PRIVACY, BUT IT ALSO NEEDS “THE FRIENDSHIP OF A FEW SELECT COMPANIONS,” AS ADDISON SAYS. The qualities of character that we nurture in private are not meant for our benefit alone; they’re meant to be used and enjoyed within the context of relationships with others. The persons that we are within the privacy of our own hearts should touch and influence other human beings in widening circles of contact. And those who occupy the innermost of these circles are our COMPANIONS.

The word “companion” is actually a colorful word. We get it from the Latin companio, which was a compound of two words: com (“together”) + panis (“bread”). A companion, then, is someone with whom we “break bread,” that is, a close associate or comrade. Looking at it from a slightly different angle, our companions are those who “accompany” us on the road that we have to travel. They’re our “company.”

COMPANIONABLENESS. What are the qualities of a good companion? Well, as we suggested in yesterday’s reading, one of them is a respect for our privacy. Good companions enjoy our company, but they also honor our solitude. But there are other traits as well, and almost all of them are virtues of CHARACTER: sympathy, understanding, sense of humor, kindness, enjoyment of life, curiosity, and many more.

COMPANIONSHIP. Companionable qualities may be delightful, but they’re not much good unless they’re used. And so what we need more of in the world is not merely companionableness; we need more actual companionship. We need — all of us do — to engage ACTIVELY in the conduct of companionship. It takes work and it’s not always convenient, but the value of it is worth more than diamonds and rubies.

Whoever you are, there’ll be those around you who need you to “accompany” them in some way. They need your companionship. And, in truth, you need theirs too! It’s a fact: human beings are social creatures, and we need a few good folks with whom we can “break bread.”

“Good company and good discourse are the very sinews of virtue” (Izaak Walton).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com

“The human animal needs a freedom seldom mentioned, freedom from intrusion. He needs a little privacy quite as much as he wants understanding or vitamins or exercise or praise” (Phyllis McGinley).

THE PERSON WHO’S NEVER ALONE IS A PERSON WHO’LL FIND IT HARD TO GROW IN CHARACTER. We do need contact with other human beings, without a doubt, and we even need what might be called COMPANIONSHIP (more about that tomorrow), but it’s a fact that we also need PRIVACY. We need times of solitude to reflect, to meditate, and to grow. We need some quiet, private spaces in our lives. And if it’s true that we need such spaces, it’s also true that it’s hard to find them. More and more, our lives are lived in such a way that solitude — at least SIGNIFICANT solitude — is a rare commodity.

Robert Lindner wrote, “It is in solitude that the works of hand, heart, and mind are always conceived, and in solitude that individuality must be affirmed.” By now, the record of the human race is clear: positive contributions to the world are not made except by those who’ve spent time alone, growing strong in the seasons of life.

Privacy is not the end goal of life, however, and nothing that we’ve said here is meant to take away from the importance of interaction with others. But as Emerson said, “Isolation must precede true society.” If we intend our connections with others to be beneficial, we must first learn the benefit of solitude. Little good will come from our circle of relationships if we haven’t grounded ourselves in the virtue of valid PRINCIPLES — and that is almost always done in private.

There are no friends we should appreciate any more than those who’re secure enough in their relationship with us that they’ll honor our need for privacy. And more than that, those friends are especially valuable who, when we’ve taken them into our privacy and confided to them some part of our solitude, can be trusted to keep our private matters private. A friend who’ll guard the gate to the innermost chambers of our heart is a friend indeed. But the crucial question is not whether we HAVE friends like that; it’s whether we can BE friends like that. Those who need us, need us to keep safe their secrets.

“Count him not among your friends who will retail your privacies to the world” (Publilius Syrus).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com

“Put more trust in nobility of character than in an oath” (Solon).

ULTIMATELY, THE ONLY THING THAT WILL MAKE PEOPLE FEEL SAFE IN THEIR INTERACTION WITH US IS THE TRUSTWORTHINESS OF OUR CHARACTER. There are times when our commitments will have to be backed up with oaths, vows, contracts, and collateral, but the bottom line is that if our inward character can’t be trusted, these external things aren’t enough to make people rest easy in their dealings with us. They’ll know that if our commitment to them ever becomes “inconvenient, we’ll manage to find something in the fine print that will let us set aside our obligation to them.

But speaking of contracts and so forth, people who’re truly trustworthy don’t mind signing such guarantees. Honorable people don’t object to having their word bound by social and legal safeguards, and you should be leery of the fellow who acts offended when you ask him to back up his word with a contract. Indeed, even with promises we make to ourselves, it’s often wise to strengthen private promises by placing them on record in some kind of public way. It’s not bad to have friends who can come and say, “But you said you would . . .”

But the question of commitments that we make to ourselves raises an important point. One of the things we need most in life is confidence in our own integrity and reliability. We need to be able to trust ourselves, knowing deep inside that we will do whatever we commit ourselves to do. If our past record is such that we ourselves don’t have any confidence that we’ll follow through, it’s not realistic to expect that others will find us trustworthy. So the best thing we can do to be SEEN as trustworthy by our peers is to practice the daily discipline of making and keeping commitments to OURSELVES.

But whatever discipline it takes to build trustworthiness, that’s a discipline we need to adopt. There are few gifts we can give to others that will be any more appreciated. And trustworthiness is not just a gift; it’s an obligation. We owe it to others to do as we say we’ll do.

“I would be true, for there are those who trust me; I would be pure, for there are those who care; I would be strong, for there is much to suffer; I would be brave, for there is much to dare” (Howard A. Wheeler).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com

“The best proof of love is trust” (Joyce Brothers).

IN A SENSE, TRUST IS THE MOST GENEROUS GIFT THAT ONE PERSON CAN GIVE TO ANOTHER. All of us know that we fall short of being completely trustworthy; even if we’re generally faithful to our commitments, there have been at least a few times when we’ve let others down. And so, when someone extends trust to us, we know that they’re accepting some risk. In order to benefit us, they’re allowing themselves to be made vulnerable. And that’s a very generous thing to do. Not only is trust the “best proof of love,” as Joyce Brothers puts it, it’s also the costliest gift that love can bestow.

Trust is never more beautiful than when it’s given as a conscious choice. There are some individuals who are so naturally easy to trust that we find ourselves comfortably drawn in the direction of trusting them. At some point in our relationship, we simply wake up and realize that we’ve come to trust them. But there are others who, for whatever reason, are not so easy to trust, and when we make the conscious choice to trust them anyway, that’s a very beautiful gesture indeed.

We may as well admit it: it takes strength of character to give the gift of trust. In very many cases, the question of whether we will trust another person is not so much a question of THEIR character as it is a question of OUR OWN. If you look at your list of relationships and you see that there aren’t many people you trust, you may think you’ve just had the bad luck to be surrounded by an unusual number of traitors. The more likely explanation, however, is that you just haven’t developed the internal character to engage in the act of trust.

It’s true that we pay a price for trusting other people, but the price of weakness and lack of trust is even higher. To be mistrustful is to be miserable. “You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough” (Frank Crane).

And not only does mistrust make us miserable, it also erodes our own integrity. Doubters and cynics (those who make a big deal about how few people there are in the world who can be trusted) are very rarely people you’d want to go into business with. So how about you and me? Do we trust others? If not, they probably can’t trust us either!

“He who mistrusts most should be trusted least” (Theognis).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com